


Chicago Moon

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, M/M, Series, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-08-14
Updated: 2002-08-14
Packaged: 2018-11-11 01:08:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11138217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Ray Vecchio learns what it takes to be leader of the Pack.





	Chicago Moon

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

  
Chicago Moon

## Chicago Moon

by JennyB.

Disclaimer: 

Author's Notes: I thought Chicago Midnight was it, but the Boys wouldn't leave me alone.   
Many thanks to my dear friend Chris for the beta!

Story Notes: Sequel to Chicago Midnight. If you haven't read it, do it now! It's very short and this will make much more sense if you do.   
Action begins immediately following Chicago Midnight.

This story is a sequel to: Chicago Midnight 

* * *

Being a vampire had taken a lot of getting used to. No going out in the sunlight, no more solid food. No more Vecchio family dinners. But being the Alpha of a werewolf pack was more than I'd bargained for. 

That first full moon, I followed them for three nights, returning to my new house before dawn to preserve my uniquely fair complexion. Over those three nights they ran, hunted, chased each other over the countryside outside of Chicago. It was amazing to watch. 

As a wolf, Kowalski is a different guy. Other than the obvious furry side, I mean. He has an outlet for all that nervous energy he puts out. When he's human, he practically vibrates with it. 

One advantage of being dead is that I have all the energy I want when I need it, but it doesn't claw at my insides like the Wolf in him. I don't know why the furriness in Fraser doesn't show when he's human, but it doesn't. Of course, Fraser's always been the calm one. I don't think Kowalski was ever calm, even before he turned furry. 

The last night the three of them followed me home and slept in the basement outside my bedroom door. I understood now why Fraser and Kowalski had taken the rest of the week off. They told me they don't sleep much during the rest of the month. Because of their, um, condition, they don't need to. One of the side benefits. 

When they're in full wolf mode, though, they can and sometimes do sleep almost the whole day. It takes a lot out of them and they need the rest. And the protein. They eat a lot of rare, okay raw, meat during those three days. 

That day they stayed with me, I fell asleep before the sun was fully up. It had been a long night and I'd risen before sunset. I woke about 3 that afternoon, hungry. 

They were still asleep, Fraser and Kowalski laying curled around each other stark naked. Diefenbaker was still his furry self, which made me feel a little better. I'm not sure I could have handled him as a human. Way too high maintenance. 

I couldn't believe how beautiful they were, all that pale human flesh laid out on my basement floor. Fraser's hair so dark against his skin and Kowalski nearly all the same color all over. As if being hungry wasn't enough, now I was horny, too. Great. 

There are some myths about vampires that probably need to be dispelled before I go any further. First of all, I don't get paralyzed during daylight hours. Most of the time I don't sleep any more than I did before the change. I just do it during the day since there's not a lot of places I can go then anyway. 

Second, I can still get a hard-on with the best of them. And it's not tied to my need for blood. I didn't get a woody when I ate dinner as a human, I don't get one when I have a meal now. Well, not always. Sometimes I feed from someone who's got power and the power gets to me. Psychics, healers, adepts, sometimes people who think they're ordinary because they just don't know any better. I'll take some nourishment from them and then have to go to the nearest men's room and give myself a little relief. Thank god for trenchcoats. 

By the way, I've never killed anyone innocent. Occasionally I have used my powers for good, like when I was still in Vegas. But I'm not a killer. 

It doesn't take much blood to keep me going. A little sip from three or four people and I'm good to go for the night. They come out of a mild trance with their neck a little sore, but can't find a reason why. I don't leave marks. The great thing about vampire saliva? Fantastic healing properties. Can make a bite mark heal in a couple of minutes. The soreness stays around for a little while, but there's no physical evidence if you don't want there to be. The vamps who leave marks behind? Show-offs, all of 'em. 

And I don't get any uglier than I already am when I go full-on vamp. I get a honkin' set of fangs, yeah, but otherwise it's just me. Sometimes quiet intimidation is the best. 

Take Frankie Zuko for example. He's really straightened up his act since I got back in town. I paid him a little visit and told him I was all about keeping the neighborhood safe. Flashed a little fang and that was that. He was all over his string of rosary beads like stink on shit. 

But I digress. 

So I came out of my basement bedroom and saw them curled up together like the little pack of wolves that they are, except Benny and Kowalski weren't wolves at the moment. Beautiful, just beautiful. Their faces so unguarded and peaceful in sleep. So obviously in love and happy together. I sighed. Even with them here, I still felt alone. 

Kowalski must have sensed me, because his eyes opened and he growled, not sure for a minute where he was. They usually woke up in a little cabin they'd bought out south of town. 

When he saw me, he backed off and his eyes cleared. "Sorry, Vecchio. Waking up in a strange place. You know how it is." 

I did and he knew I did, so why bother answering? 

"You want coffee?" 

He blinked the sleep from his eyes and squinted up at me. "If you got it, I'll drink it, but you don't have to make it for me." 

"There's a pot in the kitchen and it's almost ready. I could use a cup myself." 

"Wait a minute, I thought you didn't do the food and beverage thing anymore." 

"Another myth and I'm happy it is. Solid food I can't do. My body doesn't know what to do with it anymore. But liquids are liquids. Coffee, wine and scotch are still on the menu, thank god. I don't need the caffeine anymore but I'd probably still scream like a banshee if you made me give up coffee." 

Kowalski untangled himself from Fraser rather elegantly and stood, completely heedless of all that skin he was showing. 

"Jesus! Do you mind, Stanley?" In a flash I turned my back to him, both horribly embarrassed and sort of turned on. I heard a growl and a low pitched, threatening voice behind me. 

"Don't call me Stanley!" 

I hadn't really felt him throw his power before, so when I felt the wall of heat hit me, the strength of it surprised me. So I turned toward him and threw my power back at him. 

"Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray, RAY!" 

"WHAT?" We both yelled and turned our faces toward the sound of our name being bellowed. We'd been too focused on our little power struggle to notice we'd woken Fraser up. 

"He called me Stanley." Kowalski's voice still had a note of wolf in it. 

"Hold it in there, buddy! No offense intended. But you could do with a little modesty." 

"Fraser doesn't mind." 

"He's seen you naked before. I barely know you." 

"Well, if we're gonna be spending more time together, you're gonna have to get over that modesty thing. I wake up like this at least three days every month." The blonde detective gave Fraser a look that communicated something I couldn't pick up. Then he bounded upstairs. 

"He actually wakes up like that every morning. He sleeps in the nude." I knew Fraser was trying to be funny, but it didn't help. 

"Where's he going?" 

"To take a shower." 

"Nice of him to ask." 

"Ray..." Fraser stood up and walked towards me. 

"Fraser, do you mind?? What is it about you guys? Clothes are a good thing." 

"It bothers you to see me nude." 

I looked at Fraser, focusing my eyes on his face. I could keep this secret. I could hide it from him. "Yeah, Fraser, it does. I wasn't taught to run around the house completely naked. There's a certain amount of decency that I expect to be maintained in my house." I stopped myself. _Dear God, I sound like my mother._

"I don't think you sound quite like your mother, Ray, but you were close." The note of humor in Fraser's voice took my indignation down a notch. 

"I'm sorry, Benny. I'm not used to having other people around. I've been a solitary man since I started living here. It's gonna take time for me to adjust to having you around, having him around." 

While I talked, Fraser found a blanket and wrapped it around his beautiful body. I was a little more comfortable once I couldn't see what I'd longed to touch for years. 

"Ray, you'll need to learn to control your temper if you're going to take on the role of Alpha for our pack." 

" _My_ temper, Benny? He was the one who started that little show of power that woke you up." 

"Ray, what woke me was a flare of cold power. You. Your power flashed when you objected to his nudity. He reacted on instinct to you. He's not used to your energy and he reacted to it as a threat. It will take a while for us to get used to the differences. All of us." 

I sighed. I was hungry, needy. I felt miserable. "Benny, maybe this is a bad idea. Maybe I should just go and leave you three to be a pack without me. I'm not wolf, Benny. I'm just me." 

Fraser stood behind me and wrapped his blanket around me, too. I sank into his welcoming warmth. I'd wished for this so many times when I was alive. Now it seemed so natural for us to touch. Maybe it wasn't me that had been the barrier to it then. Maybe it had been Fraser. 

"That's why we need you, Ray. A healthy pack is all about balance. We need you. You need us." His arms squeezed a little tighter around my middle. His breath was hot against my ear when he spoke again. "Where is the soul who ran with us last night?" He inhaled deeply like he was trying to sniff it out. 

"I think I left him in my other suit." 

Fraser let out a soundless laugh. "Ray, believe me when I say I know this is unnerving. There isn't much out there in the way of documentation to help us out. I've operated on instinct with this unusual situation and have been remarkably accurate. Trust me, Ray. Trust yourself enough to know that this is right." 

"Benny, do you know how strange this sounds, you lecturing me to follow my instincts?" 

Fraser smiled, rubbing his stubbled cheek against the back of my head. "It is rather ironic, isn't it?" 

Standing in the circle of his arms felt so good. What happened next felt even better. He turned me around and kissed me gently. "I'm sorry that we never took the opportunity to be honest with each other years ago, Ray. I meant what I said the first night you ran with us. I do love you." 

So much for keeping secrets. "I meant it, too. I love you. I just don't understand this. You're with Kowalski." 

"Yes, it's true that we are a mated pair. We have a special bond that can't be broken. But we are Pack. More than brothers, more than friends, more than lovers. I care for you, love you, Ray. Since my change, I have the need to communicate my feelings with touch. I've found it rather emancipating. I've found that I like to share." 

A grumble came from the corner where Diefenbaker lay with his head on his paws. 

"Donuts don't count, you kleptomaniac," I told him. There's at least one thing I really enjoyed about this. Actually being able to understand Dief. Now there's a wolf with a sense of humor. "Guess I'll have to start stocking up on dog food." Dief glared at me and pretended to sulk. 

I looked into Fraser's eyes. He was right. I'd known I was home when I found them waiting for me in that clearing. We belonged together, all of us. We just had to figure out how it all worked. 

"You're welcome here anytime. I'll get keys made for both of you. I'm not asking you to move in or anything, but I just want you to know, well, that you're welcome." 

"Coffee?" We both looked over at the basement stairs and saw a freshly washed Ray Kowalski carrying a tray of coffee mugs. He had found a pair of sweats and pulled them on. He saw me still wrapped in Fraser's blanket and it didn't seem to bother him. At least he didn't growl at me. Hmm. I still backed away. It sort of bothered me. 

"I borrowed these," he said, indicating the sweatpants. "Didn't want you to freak again and I don't have any clothes here." 

I thanked him and took a mug of steaming java, ignoring the bit of snark in his tone. My stomach growled. It needed to get dark really soon, because I was famished and Kowalski was getting on my nerves. 

I took a sip of my coffee and gave them a smug grin. "Actually, your clothes are in the wash. I found where you buried them and brought them back here. They're probably dry by now." 

Sensing the tension between us, Fraser became Polite Mountie to try and keep us on our best behavior. "Thank you, Ray. We appreciate your hospitality. Thank you for opening your home to us." 

"Part of the deal, right? Mi casa is your casa? Besides, it was kinda nice to not wake up in an empty house for a change." 

Fraser gave me an affectionate smile and then turned his attention to his partner, his mate. As they sipped their morning coffee they started to sniff and touch each other. They were even more beautiful than they'd been when they were asleep. One would emit a small grumble or growl here and there when the other touched a sensitive spot. Each took inventory of his mate, making sure they were both all there after their three nights of frolicking in the wild. 

I finished my coffee, watching them touch and soothe each other. In deference to me, they left their bodies mostly covered, but through Benny I could sense their need to get naked and get frisky. _Part of me wanted to stay around and watch them make love to each other._

_Then stay, Ray._

Man I really was going to have to watch what I thought around Fraser. 

I sighed again. I couldn't do it. All of this was too new. Watching them go at each other, while unbelievably hot, was not something I could handle yet. Besides, I wasn't quite sure that I would be welcome by everyone. 

A change in the air around us caught my attention. The sun had set. It would still be light out, but no direct sunlight meant I could go get dinner. Thank God. 

_Thanks, Benny. I can't. Suppertime._

I slipped out quietly, dressing in the dark of my bedroom and heading out the back door that led to the edge of my property. As I headed up the tunnel toward the growing night I heard Fraser in my head. 

_We'll lock up when we leave. Thank you, Ray._

_For you, Benny? Anytime._

I wandered through some crappy neighborhoods that night. Found myself near Benny's old place, so I walked by. Nothing there but a cold shell any more. Like me. I looked up, searching for the moon, needing something to ground me and hoping it would help. But clouds hid it from sight. 

What the hell was I going to do? What do you do when you know you're doing the right thing, but you don't have any idea how to handle it? I wasn't sure if I could do this. Didn't know the first thing about being the leader of a werewolf pack. They were ruled by the moon. I was and always would be a slave to the sun. My power hit in an icy rush. Theirs flowed in heated waves. 

Right now, Benny was the only one to really let me in. I couldn't get into Dief's head or Kowalski's, either. I couldn't tap into them and I felt like I needed that to be effective as their leader. 

I had to open my life to them, open myself to them. If this didn't fly, it wasn't going to be my fault. 

I gave them keys to my house the next time we were all together. I got Dief a collar that would hold an extra key, so he actually got one, too. Didn't want him to feel left out. And besides, when the guys went wolfy, they didn't have anywhere to put a key. 

I invited them over, made my home open to them. Told them they could visit anytime they wanted. They were good about leaving messages or e-mailing when they planned to drop by. I did my best to be flexible and available to them, but I still wasn't really used to sharing my life with anyone. I'd been pretty much a loner for the last year or so, either living in the basement of my house in Chicago or running the mob from underground in Vegas. Hey, the fact that I holed myself up in a bunker during the day lent itself well to the Armondo Mystique. 

Benny came by alone quite a bit. To discuss cases they were working on, tell me what stupid thing Turnbull had done that day. Occasionally Kowalski would be with him, but the energy was always more tense, more charged when we were all together. Never settled or comfortable. 

As the month progressed, I saw Benny, alone or with Dief, more and more. On the rare instance that Kowalski came with them, I could feel the heat pour off them. They smelled like sex, even if they hadn't touched each other all day. Or maybe it was because they hadn't touched each other. 

Whatever the reason, if they were around, it was hard to ignore. I didn't know how they could make it through a day of working together without ending up in a broom closet jacking each other off. I wouldn't be able to handle it. And the closer it got to the full moon, the more intense it got. 

They even started to invade my dreams. I'd wake up from a dream, hard as a rock, erotic images of Benny running around my brain. Stripping off that Mountie uniform as pretty as you please and watching his head tip back while I stroked his cock. Watching the tip of his tongue flick out to wet his lower lip, like he does all the time. 

This would inevitably end with me jacking off in the shower. Me and Lester from American Beauty. It's all downhill from there. 

I came home early one morning after doing a little business and finding a snack or two. Benny and Kowalski were at the house. I could feel their angry energy halfway down the block. I knew they'd be there, but I didn't expect to feel them telegraphing their presence. 

Once inside the house, I walked into the living room and was bowled over by the heat of their anger. They'd squared off and were growling at each other. Dief was sitting between them, looking up and barking at them. 

"Hey! Break it up, you two. You're upsetting the wolf!" I knew how ridiculous that sounded, but at the moment, there was only one real wolf in the room. 

I let my power loose to dissipate the heat in the room. 

Kowalski turned his head towards me, questioning with his eyes. My power felt different to him. 

"I just fed. It makes me warm for a while." I saw a flicker of familiarity in his face that disappeared as quickly as it showed, then his gaze moved back to Fraser. 

They still weren't talking. But they weren't growling anymore. Two more nights till the full moon and they were already going lupine on me. I found myself questioning this arrangement for about the thousandth time in the last 25 days. I'd had about enough of the free-ranging power floating around my house. It made me cranky. 

Benny's eyes were on me, too, looking predatory. I wondered if that's what I looked like when I spotted someone I was going to make a meal out of. 

He turned back to Kowalski and their eyes locked for a moment. Something passed between them that I couldn't get a handle on. Kowalski turned and left the room, Dief following in his wake. I sensed them leave the house and head down the street toward Kowalski's apartment. Kowalski was pissed about something, but that something wasn't making itself known to me. 

"Benny, what-" 

I didn't have time to finish my question. Benny had started to search for my tonsils with his tongue, his hands gripping my upper arms like I'd fly away without him as an anchor. I tapped into that part of me that knew Benny, that could hear him deep in my soul. There was a reason for this, if I could just find that place in him that could tell me. 

His scent filled my nose and mouth and I groaned. That taste, that feeling. Earth and wilderness and Benton Fraser wrapped around my body, learning me inside and out. 

I had to know why, had to hear it from his lips. 

Reluctantly I ripped my mouth away from his, taking charge. I would have been panting if I needed to breathe. 

"Benny, what's this about? All these years we barely touch and now you jump my bones with zero fanfare. I think I deserve an explanation. Something go wrong with Kowalski and you need to get laid?" 

"Ray, you know that's not the reason." I could hear the disapproving Mountie tone. "I told you we share. I want to share myself with you, Ray. I didn't think I'd meet with opposition." 

"When did you get so sure of yourself, Benton Fraser?" 

"When I could look into your soul, Ray Vecchio. How many times will I have to tell you to trust your instincts about us before you listen to me?" 

"I am trusting my instincts, Fraser, and you're not telling me something. What was all that growling about when I came in? You talk to me, man, or you get out. I know you're holding something back." 

Benny backed down, taking his hands off my shoulders. He started to pace the room. His energy still felt a little manic, but he'd calmed down quite a bit since Kowalski had left. 

"I'm sorry, Ray. I'd hoped to shield you from our squabbles. We spend all day reining ourselves in and when we let go at the end of a day, it can get, well, rather unpleasant. It disturbs Dief quite a lot. He doesn't really understand it." 

I watched him continue to pace, the tension in his neck and shoulders evidence of the effort he was making to remain in control. 

"So what you're telling me is you need someone or something to help you take the edge off?" 

"Yes. In part, anyway." He looked ashamed. I'd been partly right. 

"Nothing wrong with that in principle, Benny." 

Pain flickered in those beautiful blue eyes. "I hate this." 

"Hate what, Benny? I thought you loved being what you are. Said it freed you." 

"The closer we get to the full moon, the less we're in control of the energy that drives us to our change. It surfaces as many things. Hunger, mostly, for meat and...other things. The nearer we are to the change, the more it comes out as anger, our beasts fighting for their time, needing to be heard. It's so hard to come home and be angry with him just because we're in the same room together. I love him." 

"I know you do, Benny, but marriage is never easy." 

He laughed a little at that. He scratched his eyebrow with his thumb. "I suppose you're right, Ray. It is like a marriage." 

"Only both of you get PMS." 

He laughed again, quick and harsh. 

_You know I'm right, Benny. Cycles of the moon and all that._

I shucked my coat off and hung it on the coat tree in the front hallway. Benny's leather jacket hung there and I took a big whiff of him and leather before I went back to the living room. 

I stood in the doorway and put my hands in my pants pockets. I still smelled the tang of sweat and arousal in the room, and an earthiness that I recognized as nothing but Benny. If we were going to get intimate, it was time to get intimate. 

_Why now, Benny? Why, after almost 40 years of closing yourself off from everyone, even yourself, are you suddenly willing to admit all of this to yourself?_

_All of what, Ray?_

_Don't be like that, Benny. If we can talk like this, then you know what I mean._

_You mean, that I'm a gay werewolf who has a werewolf for a lover and who wants to make love to his best friend who happens to be a vampire?_

I rolled my eyes heavenward and crossed my arms over my chest. He'd learned to be a smart ass while I was away. Kowalski and I were gonna have to have a talk. 

"Ray, have you ever had a completely shattering moment of clarity when everything in your life finally makes sense and nothing that anyone else says matters anymore?" 

I jumped at the sound of his voice in the still house. "Three years, Benny. Three years I work with you and you give me a little bit here and there. We almost die for each other. That Bitch almost takes you from me, almost takes my life away from me. I even think that finally you'll let something slip when I'm helping you get your memory back after you fell off the back of that van. But nothing. So I give up hoping. After all that, tell me. What great moment of clarity are you talking about?" I hadn't meant to get angry, but it felt good to let it all out. Maybe being around all that energy was affecting me, too. 

"The first night I ran with Ray and Diefenbaker as a wolf. I had finally found where I belonged. Finally found the freedom to be exactly who I wanted to be. I realized in that night how each moment is so precious, each person who accepts us as ourselves is so rare." 

Benny came over to stand in front of me. He stood so close, but we weren't really touching. Still, I could feel the pulse of energy between us. 

_I'm sorry, Ray. I truly didn't know. But what's passed is past. What I would like to do is right a wrong. Please, Ray. Let me make it up to you._

I looked into those impossibly blue eyes, deep inside him. I wanted to crawl inside and never come out. 

_What about Kowalski?_

_He's my mate. He knows I love you._

I could feel the truth, could almost taste it. This wasn't about Kowalski, had nothing to do with him. It was about us. Fuck. Sometimes I hated it when he was right. Right now wasn't one of them. I spread my arms and waited. 

Benny accepted the invitation of my open arms, taking that half step left between us. He let out a contented sigh as I held him. We just stood there for a moment, letting the rightness of it seep into our beings. 

"You still need something to take the edge off, Benny?" I asked against his shoulder. 

He kissed the peach fuzz on the side of my head. "I'd like that, Ray." 

This time he didn't try to play tonsil hockey quite so enthusiastically. My hands settled on his neck, my fingers grazing each other at the back of his head. The hair there still stood up on end, but not from anger. 

I closed my eyes and breathed, taking time to listen to the rhythms of his body. His heart beating, pushing the blood through him. Life. 

The air around us crackled with the energy rolling off our bodies. He growled. My fangs decended. So this was going to be dirty and dangerous. Well, it would be nice to not have to hold back. It had been a very long time. 

_God, Benny. What took us so long?_

We continued to kiss and caress and lick while we undressed each other. We'd have to sew some buttons back on, but nothing got damaged beyond repair. Except the lamp I knocked over when I shoved his naked ass onto the sofa and landed on him. 

I straddled him and sat back on his thighs while Benny licked the salt from my skin in broad strokes of tongue. My cock twitched when his tongue bath reached my midsection, as if it was trying to get his attention. His answered as I grabbed a handful of thick, heavy Fraser and stroked. 

What started as a growl ended as a moan. For a few seconds, Benny's head tipped back and he focused only on my fist surrounding his heat, my stroking hand that would soon threaten the last of his control. 

"Ray," he breathed, his voice thick with fur. He grabbed my wrist and held on, stopping me. 

"What do you want, Benny?" My voice was all gravel and need. I licked the tiny cuts that my teeth had left on his chest where I'd been less than careful. My whole body tingled with that little taste of him. I watched them close and disappear as if I'd never touched him and wished for something more permanent, deeper and more lasting. 

"Fuck me." 

I almost came right then. I'd never expected to ever hear those words escape Benny's mouth ever. Now they were directed at me. Miracles did happen. 

A second or two later my brain caught up. What were we going to use for lube? 

I started stroking him again, to make him come and give me what I needed to ease the way into his body. His eyes flared yellow at me and his powerful hand stopped me again. "NO!" 

He panted, the sound roaring in my ears. I felt the rise and fall of his stomach as he brought himself back from the edge. "My coat, inside pocket." It was all he could manage to say, but I saw what he meant. He carried a bottle of lube with him. In a secret pocket in his coat. 

_Benny, you dog, you._

_Wolf, actually, Ray._

Even in the throes of passion he was correcting me. That's my Benny. 

_Hurry, Ray. Please. I need you._

Who was I to argue with that? I jumped off him and zipped to the front hall, grabbed his coat and went straight for the pocket. I was extremely grateful for my vampire precision and speed just then. I didn't think I'd last much longer, either. I needed it as bad as he did. 

Back on the couch, I straddled Benny, planted a hand on his chest to keep him from bucking me off, and ground my hips into his, our cocks sliding together for a minute. I knew I was being a bastard, but he asked for it. This was my show and we were gonna do it my way. I was finally getting the chance to have Benny and I wanted him grunting and monosyllabic under me. 

With slicked up fingers, I quickly prepped him, sliding one, then two, then three fingers in, stroking and stretching briefly each time. I knew I really couldn't hurt him, he was too strong. And a little pain in the mix was never a bad thing. Rough is good, but brutal is for other guys. 

I lifted his legs onto my shoulders, getting into position. Still I waited, cradling his balls with one hand, thumbing his perineum. The smell of sweat and sex filled the room, drove my mind into a spin. To hell with reducing him to one-syllable words, I needed to be inside him. _Now._

_Yes. Now!_

I lubed myself up and eased in, hearing him grunt with every inch. His breath shuddered in and out, noisy and hot. "Benny. God, Benny, so beautiful." So tight, so hot, so good. 

His fingers dug into the cushions underneath him, tendons and muscles etched in stark relief from the play of shadows and light. Such power in him, under hyper-living flesh. Such love in that strongly beating heart. The rhythms of Life and Death pushing us, goading us, making us one. 

I opened my eyes and stared into his. Something inside me broke open and his heat poured through me. I felt him arch as cold surged through him. 

My hand closed around his cock, stroked in time with my thrusting hips. 

One. Two. Three. _Now!_

Coherent thought left us in a scalding rush. My ears filled with the sound of Benny moaning, nearly howling as he came. I howled and came with him, unable to contain the emotions and sensations assaulting me. 

When the scent of his come hit my nostrils, I moved like a man possessed. I pulled out of him and bent my head to his stomach, lapping up his release. Salty, rapidly cooling essence of Benny. Delicious. 

Once I'd cleaned him, I crawled up to kiss him. He could barely move. I could relate. We lay on the couch, my dead weight pushing him further into the cushions, letting the heat from our coupling settle around us. I felt him begin to relax into a doze, so I started to croon in his ear the song I heard in his head. A lullaby of some sort in Inuktitut. It came from his mind and out my mouth. He gentled and slept in my arms. Miraculous. 

* * *

I followed them over the nights of the next full moon, feeling Benny calling to me, pulling me along with them. But for most of the nights after, I was still alone. It was hard for me to get used to them. Besides that, I felt unwelcome when Kowalski was around. I tend not to go where I'm not welcome. He still wouldn't let me in, let me hear and feel his thoughts. He kept himself tightly guarded against my energy. Even Benny couldn't offer any help on how to get him to let down his walls. 

I stopped by the 27th on a Thursday night a couple of weeks later. I was in the neighborhood, and it would good to shoot the shit with Welsh if he was working late like he usually did. Unfortunately the only person in the bullpen besides the janitor when I walked in was Kowalski. 

"You come here for me?" A flash of heat accompanied the question. 

"No. I thought Welsh might be in the mood for a chat. It's been a while." 

"Yeah, well, he's not here. Why don't we borrow his office? Been meaning to talk to you about a couple of things." 

"Okay." I didn't know what we had to talk about, since we never talked. 

He forwarded his extension to Welsh's in case the phone rang, then I followed him in. He kept his back to me, hands on his hips, and cracked his neck. He was pissed about something. 

"So is he a good fuck?" 

Oh. So that was it. "Look, Kowalski, I don't know what the hell is going on here, but I got word that you wouldn't mind." 

"From...?" 

"Benny." 

"Of course he'd tell you that. He wanted you to fuck him." 

"Are you saying that Benny would lie to me just to get a ride? I don't think so. Benny's not wired that way." 

"You don't know what it's like, Vecchio. Having need claw at you like that. There have been times I've done just about anything for a hot fuck." 

"It was more than just a fuck and you know it. And that's what's bothering you, isn't it? Think I came to take him back?" 

"I don't think you could. He's mine." 

"You want me to fuck you, too? Just so you don't feel left out?" 

"Look man, only one person gets my ass and that's Fraser. We're mates." 

"Just because he bottomed for me doesn't mean I'm trying to take him from you. But what was I supposed to do? Say no? We connected. We bonded. I get it now." 

"You may get Ben, but you don't get us or it. You don't have a clue what you're dealing with. I got a lot of time over you with this stuff. What makes you think you can waltz in here and take over?" 

"I was asked to join this little party, remember? You welcomed me, just like Benny and Dief. Besides, you weren't Alpha before I came into the picture. It was Benny's choice for the pack." 

"I welcomed you because they did. Because Ben felt you were good for the pack. But I still don't know that I can trust you. You don't commune, man. You just fly over us. You say you feel our spirits when we run, but you don't really feel us or _Her_. You gotta start listening to Her or this will never work." 

The word _her_ vibrated in my skull. "Who?" 

"Ben calls Her La Lune. The Moon. It's all about Her." 

"I don't understand." 

"Then you have a problem, my friend. You gotta make friends with Her if this is going to succeed. I figured you already had, seeing as how you're a nightstalker. I guess I was wrong." 

"What makes you the expert?" 

"I've been at this longer than either of you have. Been Wolf for almost 10 years. I can feel the Wolf in you, Vecchio. It's there, deep inside. You come to terms with that and you'll be fine. We'll be fine. But until then, don't think you can speak for me." 

He poked a finger into the center of my chest. His eyes glowed with something that was sexual, but more than that. Primal. That's the word. Primal. Seconds passed. The finger withdrew but the glow remained. His power spilled out of his eyes, radiated from his pores. Quiet intimidation, indeed. 

"She and I, we got a special thing. I know the phase of the moon without looking at a calendar. I can tell if it's cloudy or if She's shining in a clear sky even if I'm in a basement with no windows even close to me. She's in my blood. Fraser can get his brain around it, can even feel it, but he hasn't been at this long enough yet to really understand. You get intimate with Her. You get to know Her, then we'll talk." 

I watched him walk out of Welsh's office past the bullpen and head for the breakroom. More coffee. I remembered pulling double shifts when I was still a Detective at the 27th. It was probably more habit than anything for him, seeing as how he had all that boundless energy. 

What the fuck was I supposed to do? How do you get intimate with something that's hundreds of thousands of miles away? My shoulders slumped as I made my way out of the precinct house. 

I knew better than to troll the streets near the 27th for my night's meal. It wouldn't do to get interrupted by a beat cop who knew me from my days on the CPD while I had my mouth clamped on some stranger's neck. So I got into the Riv and drove, not quite sure where I was going. 

I hit up the bad neighborhoods again, the ones where lots of bums hang out. Usually they're docile and it's easy to get a donation. They're too out of it to care, and they're none the worse for the wear of it. 

I kept thinking about what Kowalski said. About getting intimate with the moon. How the hell was I supposed to do that when there wasn't any moon? I'd checked the calendar. It was a new moon, so She wasn't even in the sky tonight. 

I looked at my watch, saw that it was heading towards 10:00 pm. A peek at the passing buildings told me I was in a part of town with a lot of pawn shops. That usually equaled lowlifes. So I drove a couple of more blocks, found a place to park that didn't look likely to draw car thieves, and started walking back towards the line of shops that were open late. 

Pawn shops tended to stay open sometimes as late as midnight in the pursuit of junkies who needed to sell their possessions for the next hit. I wasn't particularly in the mood for polluted blood, but it would be easy and my mind was preoccupied with stuff at home. 

I walked slowly up the row of neon signs, listening to the humanity around me. I listened for healthy heartbeats, a strong rush of blood through veins, people who could spare a little. 

I stopped in front of a tiny storefront lit with blue neon. Mother Claire's Crystals and Charms. An elderly woman puttered around the store, arranging rocks on a bed of blue velvet. 

The old woman looked vaguely familiar. I was sure I'd seen her before, felt it in my bones that I knew her from somewhere. I started to open the door and stood there, half in, half out. 

"Come in, young man. Mother Claire rarely gets visitors." 

I stepped inside and let the door swing closed behind me. I took in the shelves covered with books and trinkets. "How do you stay in business, then?" 

"The faithful always find their way here. They give me enough." 

"Faithful? Look, Mother Claire, I didn't come here for a religious experience. Besides, I'm a Catholic." Okay, lapsed Catholic, but still. 

She regarded me with a thoughtful eye then replied. "But the church doesn't welcome you anymore. Come, young man, and light a candle at my altar." 

I couldn't deny that I was curious. To tell the truth, I sorta missed the ritual of Mass. I hadn't realized what my faith meant to me until I couldn't practice it anymore. It's not like I can wear my crucifix without getting a burn mark. So I followed her behind the blue and silver curtain to her back room. 

A rack of votive candles in blue glasses stood in front of a tapestry of a woman laying in the cradle of a crescent moon. I saw that and realized I'd wanted to go to church, if nothing else than to light a candle and sit in the silence to think. 

_Get intimate with Her and then we'll talk._

I wasn't sure if this was some sort of divine intervention or just incredible dumb luck, but I knew I was in the right place. I knelt in front of the altar and took a long match, taking a light from a candle and lighting another. 

"Pray to Her, Child. Ask for Her guidance." 

I kissed my fingertips and started to make the sign of the cross, then stopped myself. What was I supposed to say or do? I didn't figure symbols of other faiths would be welcome, but I didn't know what else to do. 

"Just talk to Her, Child. She'll understand." 

Oh, yeah, right. Tell her that I need help guiding the werewolf pack that consists of a man I've loved since the day I met him, his lover and his wolf. That I need to know how to get past the lover's walls and get him to trust me. That I need to know enough about this to trust myself. 

As ridiculous as that all sounded to me, it was the truth. It was what I needed. The skeptic in me laughed as I watched the candles flicker in their blue glasses. I inhaled and smelled burning wax, clear cold nights and a tinge of fur. I closed my eyes and rolled that smell and taste over my tongue. Something deep inside my chest jumped at the familiarity of it. 

The taste and the smell grew more intense. For a moment I felt as if I was surrounded by cool bright light and a shiver of fur. Then everything went black and I opened my eyes. 

"Would you care for a drink, Child?" Mother Claire offered me a wine glass filled with red wine. 

I thanked her and took a swallow before I realized it was blood. I drank it down, starving. 

_Open yourself, Child. Love and protect my Children._

The next thing I knew I was opening my eyes and waking up in the Riv. I didn't remember getting from there to here. I could taste blood on my lips. I'd fed. I wasn't glutted, so I knew I hadn't killed anyone. 

I had to go back to that shop and see again what I'd seen before. My hands shook as I started the car and pulled a u-turn right there, heading back the couple of blocks to Mother Claire's. I got to the right storefront, but it was dark. The windows were boarded up and the old green sign above the door was busted out. 

Just when I thought I'd dreamed the whole thing, I put my hand in my left coat pocket and felt something hard and round there. I pulled out a ring, silver, with a round, bluish stone set in it. It resembled the full moon. 

_Moonstone. My stone. Give it a place of honor in your life and I will always be near. You are My Child, Raymond Vecchio, a child of the Night. Trust that you will find your way._

I slipped it on the pinky of my left hand. It fit perfectly. The stone glowed like it belonged there. Damn. 

I pointed the Riviera toward home. I'd had enough excitement for one night. 

As the month progressed and the moon started to show herself again, I noticed that not only could I feel the sunset, but I could sense the moonrise as well. For the first couple of nights I wasn't sure exactly what it was. A flutter in my chest, a change in the taste of the air. But the cloudy Chicago fall weather made it hard to see what was going on. 

Finally when the moon was waxing just past half, we had a clear night. Out on my rounds for my evening meal, I felt that flutter deep in my center. I inhaled the chilled night air and tasted fur. For a second I could almost feel the flame of a candle at my fingertips. 

That familiar feeling washed over me. It was familiar because it had always been inside me, searching for its way to get out. Maybe I wasn't Wolf, but there was something in me that could understand them. I smiled up at Her and blew her a kiss. 

* * *

I woke late on a Saturday afternoon, the second night of the full moon. They'd been out the night before, running in the pounding rain. I'd declined the invitation to join them, claiming business meetings with clients halfway around the world. Computers and the internet made it possible for me to do business anytime of day. Technology was a wonderful thing. 

I sensed Kowalski and Dief upstairs and smelled coffee. They'd come back to my place after their romp instead of staying at the cabin. I was beginning to get used to having them around. I could get to liking this. Especially when there was coffee waiting for me when I got up. 

Opening the door at the bottom of the basement stairs, I could tell that the curtains were closed. I tied my robe around my thin frame and headed up to the kitchen. 

"Morning." Kowalski sat at the table, feet propped up on a second chair, sipping coffee and reading the newspaper. "There's coffee." 

"Thanks. I smelled it when I woke up." I poured myself a cup and stood by the pot, leaning against the kitchen counter. "Where's Benny?" 

"Grocery shopping. We're hungry and there's not much in your fridge." 

"Sorry about that. I'm not used to having regular eaters in the house." 

He shrugged and tried to not make a big deal out of it. "We can take care of ourselves." 

It still felt like a dig. "I know that, Ray, but it's my job to make sure you're taken care of, provided for." 

"I don't expect that, you know." I could feel him get defensive, but he did smile because I'd called him Ray. I was starting to get used to it. 

"It's my duty. I signed up for this job and I'm gonna do it right." 

"You sound like Ben." His eyes glittered when he said that. 

I grinned stupidly at the compliment we both knew it was and stared into my coffee cup. "Yeah, well, he has that effect on people." 

As I lifted my coffee cup to my lips, Kowalski's eyes caught the ring on my left hand. I could feel his power prickle as his senses went on alert. "Where did you get that?" 

"I got it a couple of weeks ago. From a nice old lady." I didn't think I needed to go into the whole freaky scene that had happened that night. 

"Mother Claire? At the height of the new moon?" 

"Yeah. How did you know that?" 

He lifted his left hand, shaking his wrist and jangling the silver bracelet he always wore. Embedded in the silver were several small moonstones. I don't know why I never noticed it before. "She gave me this. About 8 years ago." 

Holy shit! 

"What about Benny?" 

"I don't know. If he's had a visit, he's never mentioned it. But then I'm not sure he ever needed Her help. We did." 

Ray Kowalski regarded me thoughtfully for a moment, chewing on a dilemma before he opened his mouth to speak. "That first morning we were here? You, uh, you scared me, you know. Your power. I've never felt anything like it. My hackles came up before I had a chance to get a handle on it." He took a swallow of coffee. "And you did call me Stanley." 

"I am sorry about that. It was crappy of me. Stanley will not pass my lips again, I swear." 

I knew that as leader, it was my right to call him whatever I wanted. But it didn't pay to piss off a quarter our tight little group. As leader, it was also my responsibility to make sure the pack felt welcome. Honestly, Ray was growing on me. We were finally starting to get comfortable with each other. 

"It gets easier, you know." He was watching me. 

"What do you mean?" 

"The wolf thing. Those three nights a month are a piece of cake. It's the rest of the time that takes some getting used to." 

"I'm still not wolf, Kowalski." 

"But you're pack. You fit. I know that now. She's given you Her blessing. Give it time. Trust yourself. Trust us." 

"Now you're the one who sounds like Benny." 

Kowalski saluted me with his coffee cup and drained it. "You said it." 

"You gonna tell me what brought about this change of heart? How do you know I have Her blessing? I could've got the ring anywhere." 

"I can smell it on you." 

He swung his legs off the chair and came over to fill his cup. I hadn't moved from my place next to the coffee pot. Ray put his cup on the counter and stood next to me, our shoulders almost grazing. 

He turned his face toward me and inhaled. Then he tipped his head back a fraction and chuckled. 

Those glittering eyes looked into mine, so close I could see little gray flecks in the irises. He cracked his neck, then asked, "Can I touch you?" 

When I was human, I'd have been weirded out by that, but in this case I knew why he wanted it. He wanted to feel the full extent of my power first hand and the only way to do that is touch. We can project our power but it's nothing compared to what you get skin-to-skin. He was asking permission. 

"Yeah. Go ahead." 

It was part of the trust thing. I had to let him know I trusted him and he had to get to a place where he trusted me to act on the best interests of the pack. No matter what he'd said earlier, he had to be sure. 

I could smell the coffee on his breath when he nuzzled my neck to sniff me. Another trust thing. And sexy as all get out, let me tell you. I was beginning to see what Fraser saw in him. 

I inhaled his scent, caught a whiff of fur along with that distinctly Kowalski flavor. Blood. I felt hunger flare in me. He froze and waited. 

_Sorry, man. Just hunger pangs. It's all good. I won't attack you. Trust me. Please._

"It's okay. It's not like I'm not used to bloodsuckers. My ex-wife is a lawyer, remember?" 

We both laughed a little and the tension went away. But his hot breath on my neck didn't. 

Kowalski relaxed and slid one hand up the sleeve of my robe. He almost jerked away at the first touch, but he stayed with it. "You're cold." 

"I'm dead." 

"Well, there you go." 

"You're hot." 

Cocky grin and a shake of his head. "Why, thank you." 

_Stanley_...I thought it, but didn't say it. 

"Hey!" 

"It didn't pass my lips." 

"Okay, okay...I know what you meant. But I couldn't let it go. You'd think less of me if I did." 

"You're right. I would." 

The joking wasn't posturing. It was our natural way of being together. This was good. 

Long fingers gripped my wrist, his free hand reached up the other sleeve and he held on. 

"Come on. Don't hold back. I want to know what you're all about." 

_Open yourself, Child._

I opened myself to him and his grip tightened on my arms. 

_Fuck._

His power bloomed as he opened himself, warming the space between us, tempering the iciness that grew there. 

I hadn't realized just how incredible a simple touch could be with two powerful beings. We both showed our true colors, letting our power fill the room around us. He was testing me, making certain I was the one with the most power before he submitted to my position as leader of the pack. He wasn't struggling against me, but he couldn't match me. 

He started to reel himself in, so I did the same. When we were back to relatively normal he looked into my eyes. The light was calmer than I'd ever seen it while he was in human form, but the glitter was still there. He pulled his hands away from me and turned his back to me, bending his head forward and baring the back of his neck. 

I knew he wasn't being rude and he wasn't offering himself as my evening meal. This was about something else. Pack politics. 

Suddenly I needed his warmth again, needed to show that as Alpha, my feelings for him were more than mere protection. They had started to border on something more. 

One arm folded around his waist, I touched my lips to the scruff of his neck. I opened my mouth, rested my teeth gently there and bit down, not breaking the skin. This wasn't meant to injure, it was a symbol of my place as Alpha. 

I had officially shouldered my responsibility for him and he had accepted my authority. 

"Ray," I breathed in his ear. My arm was still around his waist. This hadn't been all about business. The crackle of power made me tingle all over. 

"Yeah." 

I turned him around and looked in his eyes. I didn't say a thing. I didn't have to. Seconds passed. Our gaze still held. I guess he felt the same way. 

His hand covered the bulge in my boxers and he grinned, feral and all wolf. 

"Looks like you're not cold everywhere." 

My mouth covered his and I growled low in my throat. I felt the vibrations in his throat as he answered. His tongue found mine, licked my lips, my teeth. Felt the sharp edges of my canines and shivered. 

"Never done a vamp before." 

"If you don't stop that you won't get to." The man has talented hands, what can I say? He stopped rubbing my dick. His hands moved to my nipples instead. Then his tongue followed suit. Did I say he was talented? He's fucking amazing! 

I trailed little bites and licks along his neck and down his chest, finally getting my nips out of reach of his fingers. I slid down his body, ripping the sweatpants he wore and exposing his hard cock to the air. My hunger flared again, but this time he didn't flinch. He felt what I was hungry for and he was more than willing. 

It was over quick. Another advantage to being a vampire? I don't have to breathe and I have no gag reflex. Therefore, I give great head. So it was a matter of just a few minutes before I was drinking all Kowalski could give me. I looked up, knowing he looked beautiful with his back arched, one hand white-knuckling the counter while the other tried to knot itself in what little was left of my hair. 

His final moan had an element of howl to it. Jesus H., it was so good! 

Ray pulled me up from the floor roughly and kissed me, his tongue feeling for fang. _Not this time, my sweet. Perhaps next time._

His talented hand found my aching hard-on again and he stroked, slowly. My hips had other ideas. Ray took his cue well, speeding up his hand to match the growing urgency in my body. Just as I felt the tension start to gather in my balls, he moved to his knees and that hot mouth surrounded me. I grabbed a handful of spiky blonde hair and held him there, shooting stream after stream into his mouth. 

He stayed on his knees for a few minutes, rubbing his head against my stomach, dropping the occasional kiss there. 

"Will you run with us tonight?" His breath felt warm and comforting on my skin. 

I ran my fingers through his hair until he looked up into my face. "I wouldn't miss it for the world." 

He grinned and stood up, kissing me tenderly. "Good. We missed you last night." 

Kowalski's nose twitched and he turned his head towards the front of the house. "He's home." 

He sensed my apprehension and brushed a hand down my cheek. "He'll be happy. We needed this. All of us." He kissed me again, then started to explain. "Fraser knows you well enough to accept you as Alpha without a test. I had to know, feel your power against mine before I could truly see you as Alpha. Now I've felt you, bonded with you. I know I can trust you. You know you can trust me." 

I did trust him now, as implicitly as I trusted Benny. So I continued to hold Ray, not wanting to let him go just yet, as Benny brought the groceries into the kitchen. 

Fraser saw us together, calmly set the bags down on the table, then came over to us, placing a kiss on each of our foreheads. The love in his eyes was unmistakable. We had made him happy. 

Benny bustled around the kitchen, putting food away and starting breakfast for himself and Kowalski. Ray and I were still reluctant to let go of each other. I could see the contentment in Benny's face, his whole body, at seeing the two of us sated and comfortable in each other's arms. 

In the corner of the kitchen, Dief settled down with a contented wuffle, looking up at me. I'd have sworn he was smiling. 

I fed early that night, as soon as the sun dipped below the horizon. By moonrise, I had joined them south of town. Things weren't perfect yet. I still didn't commune, as Ray put it. But we were getting closer all the time. 

* * *

Now that Kowalski and I had kissed and made nice, he and Benny and Dief hung around my house a lot more. I fixed up a room for them upstairs and some nights when I got home from my outings, they'd be up there making love. I'd know that mostly because Dief would be laying at the bottom of the stairs, head laying on his crossed paws, a bored look on his face. That and the noise. I guess the felt like they could be vocal here. I took that as a good sign. 

The last three or four days before the full moon, I saw only Benny or Ray at my place. More often than not on those days, I got to go to bed after having mind-blowing sex. Yippee for me. 

After the next moon cycle, we decided to move their bedroom to the basement. They slept there after our runs, preferring to be near me on those occasions. I didn't complain. I liked having them near me, too. I felt very protective of them, liked to know that they were okay at the end of the day. 

I kept the place stocked with fresh meat for them, started long-term financial plans so they would be able to live their extended lives in comfort. I was supposed to provide for them, right? So I needed to make sure they could survive without me if they needed to. 

During the time I spent alone and wasn't working, I thought about the unsettled feeling that still lingered. The feeling that I was trying to solve a case without all the evidence. Deep in my soul, I was still searching for that moment of clarity Benny had talked about. 

The visit from Mother Claire had helped. But there were still barriers to break down. Barriers in me. I was going to need their help, but I didn't know how to ask, or what to ask for. 

I wandered a lot as the new moon approached again, wondering if I'd see Her again. When I didn't, I was a little disappointed. When She was a sharp, lethal looking crescent in the night sky, I roamed the city. I'd had my fill already and was just wasting time. I couldn't shake the vague restlessness I felt. The feeling that I should be somewhere other than where I was. 

There wasn't much that I needed to do that couldn't be done at home and I'd done most of that before sundown. _Home._ I just wanted to be home. 

I entered the house from the back, from the tunnel entrance at the edge of the property. As I came through the door that led directly to my room, I grinned. Sighs and groans from the other side of the basement door caught my ear and riveted me to the spot. Benny had once upon a time invited me to stay and watch. So I went directly to the door and opened it, stepping into the basement. 

Immediately their eyes were on me. They'd felt me as soon as I'd entered the tunnel. Benny's eyes told me what I should have known. They'd called me home. 

Nothing could have prepared me for the beauty of what I saw: Ray Kowalski easing himself backwards onto Fraser's hard cock, his piercing blue eyes calling to me. 

Ray's arms reached out towards me even as Benny started thrusting up into him a little bit at a time. 

"Vecchio. Ray. _Please._ " 

Each word from his mouth dripped with need. With his last word his beast called to me. I dropped my overcoat on the floor and closed the gap between us with blinding speed. 

My tongue lapped at his lips, demanding he open for me. When he did, I plunged in. Each movement was accompanied by a small moan as Benny set a rhythm. 

_God, you're beautiful. Both of you. So beautiful._

My mouth still locked on Kowalski's, I reached one hand past him to touch Benny. His head bent towards me and my fingers tangled in his hair for a moment. His pelt. 

Benny laughed and rubbed his face against my hand. He sucked on my middle finger and the suction went straight to my already-hard dick. After this, I would forever be jealous of the stuff he licked in the name of fighting crime. 

I touched them both, my hands running over heated skin and muscles, grazing a nipple here, cradling a leaking hard-on there. I eased into their rhythm, felt them breathing, moaning. Muscles bunching and releasing under sweat-slicked skin. 

My mouth soon joined my hands, kissing everywhere, licking and sucking, but being careful as I tasted every inch of them. My lips found Ray's neck, my hands knotted in his experimental hair as I traced the line of his carotid, feeling his pulse against my tongue. 

Kowalski grabbed fistfuls of my shirt and panted against my lips. "Teeth. Want teeth." 

Dear God, I wanted it, too. Wanted it so bad that the sound of their blood roared in my ears. Their beasts pulled at me, dragged the need and hunger from deep inside me, from where I'd pushed it down and tried to deny it. I wanted to know what they tasted like, full, hot mouthfuls of them. 

I'd promised myself when I first became a vampire that I wouldn't use a lover to feed, that I wouldn't take life from a lover, only pleasure. With Benny and Ray, it seemed I wouldn't be allowed to separate the two. They were my life, my loves, my pack. 

_We share everything._

I looked up at Benny, who was still seated deep inside Kowalski. 

_Let us feed you. Let us give you life._

I couldn't tell which one of them was telling me this. Maybe it was both of them. I only knew they were offering themselves to me. I also knew I couldn't refuse. 

My throat tightened and tears threatened to squeeze from the corners of my eyes. They couldn't know what this meant to me, and yet it seemed they did. I was so used to taking what I needed without the knowledge of the donor. They gave with full knowledge of what I was asking. 

My upper lip curled back to make room for the set of teeth that descended, growing and sharpening. I knew the light in my eyes had gone wild and hungry. One hand still in Kowalski's hair, I yanked his head to one side and licked the length of his main artery once more. He shivered. 

_Do me._

I bit down and closed my lips over his neck. He moaned. 

_Yes._

Blood flowed in a rich, thick, sweet flood. It filled my mouth and the scent of it made my head spin. I could taste Chicago in him, the grit and energy of the city, the stale air of the 27th precinct bullpen, oil and gunpowder, Maker's Mark, coffee, Canadian Bacon and pineapple. 

For a few short seconds I felt him pulse into my mouth, let his life feed mine, before I wrenched away, nearly drunk on him. Out of habit I went to lick the wound, but Benny grabbed me by the chin and stopped me. He leaned forward and let his broad tongue lave the mark I'd left. 

Ray moaned and sighed as our mouths left him. His hands found my waist and blindly searched for my belt, found the damp spot on the front of my pants. I was so turned on my cock was leaking non-stop. Heading north just a little bit, he found what he was looking for and started to remove my clothes. There was another shirt I'd have to replace the buttons on. 

Benny edged Ray forward a little so Kowalski was again on hands and knees. My pants and boxers were around my knees. Benny reached over Kowalski's shoulder, grabbing my shirt collar and yanking me towards him. Over Ray's back, Benny and I kissed. I wondered what he'd think of the taste of his partner's blood on me. 

Benny released me and bared his neck, still thrusting himself into Kowalski. His eyes flashed a challenge at me and I lunged for his throat. I didn't have time to worry about how Ray was dealing after being half my dinner. Benny wouldn't let me think about it too long. He was ready for me. So I sank my teeth in and held on. 

After the smoky, heady flavor of Kowalski, Benny surprised me. He tasted sweeter, cleaner. Pine and cedar, mountain air, snow, campfire smoke, tea, wool, leather, earth. 

Another few seconds and I let him go. I collapsed onto my back and let Kowalski's hand close around my cock and start pumping. God, yes. Please, God, I need to come. It's too much. 

I forced myself to keep my eyes open as Kowalski's hand stroked me. Benny bucked until he nearly lifted the detective off the bed. His hand was around Kowalski's cock, jacking in sync with his hips. I could feel them both on the edge. I wanted to watch them come knowing my marks were healing on their throats. 

I concentrated on the marks I'd left, calling them to me, feeling them coursing through me. I sensed the heat expanding in their bellies, could feel it in mine, too. If I wasn't already dead, I'd die from the intense pleasure. The connection, the fucking connection between us so damn good. 

We fell like dominoes, me, then Kowalski, then Fraser, drenching each other in hot come. 

The silence afterward was so complete that for a second I thought I'd gone deaf. A satisfied groan from Benny reassured me that I could indeed still hear. The sated sigh from Kowalski's mouth confirmed it. Now to see if my own voice worked. 

"I will never again question the sexual prowess of a werewolf. You two are enough to wear Dracula out." 

We collapsed in fits of laughter. My heart was so full of joy that I thought it might burst from my chest. I had to laugh or I'd start to cry. 

"All right. Who's changing the sheets?" I asked, "'cause I'm not sleeping in the wet spot." 

Kowalski's voice, muffled by the pillow in his face, answered, "Since you're the only one who didn't donate a pint of blood, Vecchio, I think it should be you." 

My stomach clenched with something just short of fear. 

Benny reached out and touched my cheek. "Don't worry, Ray. We're fine. Just tired, that's all. We wanted to share ourselves with you. We asked you to feed from us. Remember that." 

"I love you. Both of you. You know that, right?" 

"We do now, Vecchio." Ray rolled over towards me and cradled my face in one hand. Kissing me softly on the lips, he made me look into his eyes and see he was telling me the truth. And that he loved me, too. 

From the corner I heard a disgruntled huff. "I love you, too, Dief, okay? But I am not kissing you." 

_Good. But a donut would be nice now and then. To show your appreciation._

Smart assed wolf. 

It dawned on me that that was the first time I'd heard him in my head in full English sentences. Something had changed. I shook my head. At that precise moment, I didn't care. Sleep was way too important right now. But first I had to change the sheets. 

It was only a few nights later that the full moon came. I was restless all day, waking early in the afternoon and pacing and waiting. By the time anyone else got home, I'd practically worn a hole in the floor. I finally settled down enough to curl up on the sofa in my room, watching a Bulls game on tv. 

"You okay?" 

I'd known Kowalski was in the house, had felt him coming a couple of blocks away, but didn't expect him to come downstairs to see me. He usually spent time upstairs with Fraser before they came down to chat. 

I nodded, curling my robe around me and hugging myself. "Just hungry." 

He took one look at me and must have seen something that alarmed him. "You want a snack? I can take it." 

I snorted at him. "No, you can't. Full moon tonight. You don't need me draining you before that." 

"Vecchio, you look like hell. You want to tell me what's going on?" 

I felt sick. I didn't think I'd ever feel like that again after I became a vampire. But my body ached and itched. I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I felt like I was on a bad speed trip. 

"Sunset soon. Where the hell is Fraser?" Pissy much, Vecchio? But I couldn't help it. I needed the whole pack around me right now. Needed to feel that safety. 

"Working late. So he can have his days off. He ought to be home soon." 

The sun was starting to set and I could feel a red haze settle over me. I felt like I'd been starved, like I did the first time I went a week without feeding. "Maybe you better leave, Kowalski. I'm not feeling too stable right now. I don't want to hurt you." 

"You won't. You need me to be here. I can feel it, remember?" He put his hand on the top of my head and stroked for a minute, like he was petting Diefenbaker. The warmth of his power soothed the redness around the edges and I felt a little better. Suddenly his hand stopped and I could feel him calling out to Fraser. 

_Fraser, get home. Now._

_Ray, I have work to finish, you know that. Whatever it is, it can wait._

_No, it can't, Fraser. Get your ass home. He's changing._

I'm what? "I'm what?" I managed to croak. 

"You're changing. When we run tonight, we'll all be wolves." 

_Bring food. For all us. Stop at the butcher and get some blood for him. He'll need it._

"This isn't your job. You're not supposed to be taking care of me." 

"Look, man. I'm not bucking for a promotion. But I know what you're going through. So does Ben. I don't care how powerful you are, this is some freaky shit." 

We waited, knowing that Ben had dropped everything so he and Dief could rush home. He did stop at the butcher, a guy who knew us and wouldn't question the request for some run-off from the back room. Beef blood wasn't exactly my favorite, but it would do. I needed nourishment and was in no shape to go foraging. 

Kowalski was still stroking my head, trying to keep me calm. "I'm sorry. This is my fault. I didn't think about what feeding from us might do to you." 

"I could have said no." I was right and he knew better than to argue. 

"Fair enough. How you doin?" 

"It hurts." 

I watched as the veins stood out on Kowalski's head and the crease between his eyes deepened. This was bad. It wasn't supposed to hurt. Feel weird, yeah, but hurt, no. 

I drank the blood Benny brought for me. It fed my hunger, but the pain didn't subside. The cold, dead blood wasn't going to help. I felt like my body was going to rip apart. 

Diefenbaker sat near me and looked up at me, pawing at my leg to get my attention. 

_Ice cracks and shatters. Water flows. Heat a solid and it becomes a liquid._

What the hell? Dief giving physics lessons in the middle of this? But in the small part of my brain that wasn't occupied with the agony it made sense. I needed warmth, needed heat. My dead body too cold and solid to handle the change. 

I could hear Benny over my whimpering. "He's too cold. He needs to feed on live blood to warm him." 

"I already offered. He won't take from us. Says we need our strength. Goddamn stubborn Italian." 

"Goddamn obstinate Polack," I managed to spit back. 

Just then I felt Dief nuzzle my left hand. 

_Take it from me. Just don't expect me to kiss you when we're done._

I struggled to focus on him. I was in so much pain; I couldn't believe I hadn't passed out already. 

_You know I'm right. I don't have to change; I'm already wolf. I can handle it. After that demon Victoria, I can pretty much take anything. Now do it before I bite you._

_Smart assed wolf. Come here._

Benny and Ray backed down, leaving me room to get to the floor and close to Dief. 

_Why are you doing this?_

_One thing you need to learn about Pack, human. We take care of each other. You need life, I can give it, will give it and more if I have to for the Pack. Stop arguing and drink. Discussions come later. The change will rip you apart if you don't drink and they couldn't bear losing you. None of us could._

I thought the beast clawing at me was the most intense thing I'd ever felt. But the commanding tone of Dief in my mind took my breath away. In his own way he was accepting me, actively and consciously. 

"Thank you," I whispered as I parted the fur on his neck with my shaking hands, then bit down. I counted three and started to withdraw, but Dief stopped me. 

_Stop now and I'll let myself bleed to death._

*But - * 

_You need more. Take it. I'll be fine._

_Jesus, Dief. What are you?_

_Tell you later. You talk too much._

He guided me, told me when I'd had enough because I couldn't tell anymore. I was concentrating on the fire that flowed into me, hotter than anything I'd ever tasted before. My body started to warm and turn liquid as he gently pulled himself away from my mouth. 

Everything slowed down when I swallowed the last of Dief's offering. I felt myself open up and start to change. Three comforting voices crowded in my head, soothing me and pulling me through this completely foreign and freakish experience. It was as if I became a tiny spot in the center of my forehead while the body around me changed. I couldn't pinpoint what was happening to the various parts of my body. I only knew that everything was fine. Just fine. My body shifting and reforming, growing a rich coat of caramel-colored fur. I wondered if my eyes were still green. 

When my world gathered around me again, I saw Fraser holding my head in his hands, looking into my eyes. I turned my snout into his hand and gave a tentative lick. 

_I'm okay, Benny. Just fine._

I could feel his relief, Ray's, too. 

"Well, then, we should head for the cabin. There's not much time left before we change as well." 

_Thanks, Dief._

_Don't mention it. We'll talk later. Go and run for me. I'm a little tapped out tonight._

We did run, though without Dief it didn't seem quite right. My first night really running with my pack and we weren't whole. It dampened the mood a little bit, but we still managed to have a blast. We slept in the cabin that day, all of us exhausted. It had been an emotional night. 

The next nightfall, Ray drove us back to the house where Dief was waiting. Ben and Ray went upstairs to shower, I went to the basement to clean myself up. 

Dief followed me into my room, patiently waiting while I showered and dressed. When I finished, I found him laying at the foot of my bed, head up and alert. 

_You want to talk now?_ he asked. 

"Yeah, I do. How do you feel?" I spoke out loud. I needed to hear the sound of my voice, needed that to ground me a little. All this new stuff was getting to me. 

_Hungry. Any donuts? You know, I really like Krispy Kremes._

Irritating damn wolf. "We didn't have time to stop for any. Now are you gonna tell me what the hell happened yesterday or do I have to start feeding you grocery store dog food instead of that expensive stuff we get from the vet?" 

_It all tastes like sawdust to me anyway. You might as well._

"Fraser was right. You are the most contrary wolf I've ever known." 

_Well, you get to be as old as I am and you don't care much about what other beings think of you. You get used to doing things the way you want to do them._

"Okay, now we're getting somewhere. How old are you?" 

_About 350 years old, I think. I sort of lost count. Time seems to move differently for me than it does for humans._

"Jesus, I feel like I'm talking to Yoda. So you've always been what you are now?" 

_A wolf I am. A wolf I always have been._

"Very funny. But you can't die. Are you vamp? Or something else?" 

_I suppose you would call me a werewolf. I don't know any other term for it. To me, I'm Wolf; have always been Wolf. Our breed has evolved as any breed would. We found that combining with humans made us more mobile, more able to live in the world and adapt to it. It becomes rather difficult to live when cities spring up around you and you have no means of support. My pack mates all died because they couldn't adapt. They simply gave up on living. The will to live is the only reason I survived._

"What about Fraser? Did you go that long without a pack, a home?" 

_I settled in the North where I could hunt and feed myself. I knew very few humans would venture out that far. I actually enjoyed my solitary existence for a long time. But when I came across Ben drowning, something caught my attention. I knew him, knew his soul. He had the smell of Pack about him. So I rescued him._

"But you didn't change him. Why?" 

_I knew I wouldn't be enough for him. I couldn't be his mate and he would need one. So I had to wait until he found one. I thought it might be you, but you denied the Pack in you. So much so that you ran at the first chance._

"I came back." 

_Defensiveness is not necessary. I understand why you left. I'm glad you did. You came back able to recognize your true place in the world._

"Plus it gave Fraser the chance to find Kowalski." 

_Exactly._

I stroked his thick fur thoughtfully for a minute. "I don't understand, Dief. If you're the older, wiser wolf, why aren't you Alpha? It doesn't make sense for me to be top dog." 

_Think about it. I'm not human. I can't conduct business, can't move about in the world like you and Ben and Ray do. Ben and Ray are an equal pair. So that leaves you and you are quite capable. You have more power, different power than we do. The vampire in you makes you less mercurial, less emotionally susceptible to the tides. We're a Werewolf Pack. It should be led by someone who changes, not an old Wolf who's never known what it's like to live like a human._

Something nagged at me and I had to ask. "Do they know what you are?" 

_They know enough to know that I'm immortal, like them, like you. They understand what I try to tell them. But I've never once sat and conversed with them like we are now. I don't know that they have the ability. It's one of the reasons why I need you as much as they do._

"I'm still not kissing you." 

Dief made a sound I would come to know as his laugh. 

_Don't worry, Friend, I don't care. Have your fun with them. But talk to me._

_And bring you donuts?_

His laugh barked out again. _You know something? You've understood me a lot longer than you think. It's been a long time since I've had a companion like you._

I dug into the fur on his neck, finding the place where I'd fed from him, feeling the place that connected us like this. _You know something? I think you're right, Friend._

Dief slept at the foot of my bed most of the time after that. It really did seem that we understood each other more than either of us had thought at first. We just hadn't been able to communicate until I became truly Wolf. 

I didn't see Mother Claire again. But I was sure She would be pleased that I'd taken her advice. I bought a small scrap of blue velvet to keep my moonstone ring on and a blue glass votive holder and made my own little altar. I communed with Her here when I wasn't running with the Wolves. And I thanked Her for Her Blessings. 

* * *

All of that was about 30 years ago. We're living in the foothills of the Cascades in Washington now. The closest town is Black Diamond, which is still small and people leave us alone. We have an acreage where we can run without worrying about leash laws and we can have a doggy door without worrying we're going to get robbed. 

I can still go into the city when I want, take in a show, get a little grit in my blood. Kowalski comes, too sometimes. It's only about 50 miles away. Fraser is happy to stay in our house with Diefenbaker during those nights. He hikes up to the glaciers with Dief and they hunt. It's the best of both worlds. 

Benny and Ray work for my investigations and security consulting company, doing the daytime stuff I can't like visiting my bankers and such. Fraser usually gets the jobs like poring over official records. Kowalski takes the occasional strong arm gig, but he's best at following an evidence trail. He's an incredible cop. 

I use my various computers to build cases and hand them over to local law enforcement. The cops up here love us. We do meticulous work and we have an 80% conviction rate. Under the table, of course. 

Fraser's a US citizen now. As far as the RCMP is concerned, he died in a warehouse fire in Chicago in May of 2005. I had an ID made for him, birth certificate, driver's license. He made protesting noises about all of them, but he knew the practical side of it all. He'd get over the legalities, or lack thereof. 

According to the Chicago PD, Kowalski died in the same fire and was buried with full honors. 

I just left. Disappeared. My family had written me off years before, saying I was unclean and that I was dead to them. They knew what I was and couldn't handle it. But I had people, and a wolf, that knew and loved me for it. 

So I sold the house, closed my Chicago bank account and we headed for the Northwest. The financial plans I'd made included Swiss accounts. We wouldn't have to worry about money. 

I never did have that shattering moment of clarity. I realized that it came to me in stages, like cleaning layers of grime off an old mirror. 

Now when the Moon is fat and full in the sky, I feel the freedom I longed for all my life. I feel the love and strength of my Pack. I feel whole. 

The End  
Copyright November 2001 JennyB. 

* * *

End Chicago Moon by JennyB.:

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